Nobody's Child, Everybody's Children:

Nobody’s Child…Anybody’s Ethics?

Ethical discussions of donor conception typically focus on the rights of donors to maintain anonymity and the rights of prospective parents to form their families with minimal intrusion.  These are profoundly important interests, but the rights of offspring conceived in these arrangements are rarely given equal attention—likely because the children do not yet exist to negotiate the terms of their conception. At best, the rights of offspring to gain information about their genetic relatives and health indicators are balanced against the rights of the donors and parents, creating an atmosphere of conflict in law, ethics, and individual psychosocial experience.

I argue that the rights framework so common in ethics and law fails, as families are not helpfully understood as clusters of individuals with potentially conflicting rights. Rather, families must be recognized as interdependent networks, with some members—the children—significantly more vulnerable and dependent than others. Multiple families are linked, and families evolve through generations; an ethic focused on individuals misses the point.

The ethic of rights is often damaging even to the adults who claim them: donors are easily dehumanized as mere gamete providers, while their profound interests in the existence or welfare of potential descendants are purposely ignored. Parents of donor offspring often cannot obtain samples from the same donor for future siblings and, by declining or being denied contact with the donor, are unable to understand certain traits that their children display. The inability to share medical information—from donor to child, from child to donor, and across their extended families—may have grave consequences.

Several ethical frameworks provide better guidance for donor conception. All adults who participate in the formation of families bear responsibility for their choices and for the consequences that may arise for their offspring, but tempering rights with responsibilities is only the first step. An ethic of care approach calls attention to the fact that creating new family relationships is the very purpose of assisted conception, and that “we” rather than “I” must dominate our conversation. Virtues and moral emotions would emphasize compassion, thoughtfulness, courage, and reaching out to others, rather than selfishness, disregard, and pushing others away. 

Whatever ethical vocabulary is adopted, the most important insight is that conception is just one event in lifetimes and relationships. Families require strength, compassion, and mutual commitment to grow together, not merely to overcome infertility.