Nobody's Child, Everybody's Children:

Redefining Family: The Role of Half-Siblings and ‘Birth Others’ in Donor-Conceived Lives

When prospective parents need the help of donated gametes to help them conceive, their thoughts naturally are focused on how to achieve that goal. But after a child is born and matures into a curious, questioning individual, parents tend to be conflicted about i) whether to tell the child about his origins, ii) how to answer questions about the donor, especially if they don’t know who it is, and iii) how to integrate the fantasy or reality of half-siblings and ‘birth others’ into family life.

This discussion, drawing on the work of numerous experts who know hundreds of families affected by donor conception, will examine why inevitable questions like these need to come at the beginning of the process. It will explain the common conflicts that arise between partners and between parent and child when these conversations don’t happen early. It will attempt to explain how open and honest dialogue, before conception even occurs, can help prevent many frustrations. And it will talk about how the new technologies are prompting families to explore and define the social and genetic networks that are important to them—and about how people in the same family don’t always share the same definitions.